Hot orgasmic sex is about full body pleasure and the use of your entire body.
High level orgasms require unlearning a lot of how we are socialized. Our entire body has the capacity to experience pleasure and erotic sensation, but many people have been socialized away from acknowledging that the anal area is an erogenous zone. Your whole body can and should be part of your sexual anatomy. Yet most of us reduce what we see as our sexual anatomy down to just our penis.
I’m a huge proponent of full body touch as a tool to help boost our capacity for pleasure. Full body touch that includes the anus and prostate integrates all our highly pleasure-based body parts and removes the association of “good” parts versus “bad” parts. It can help to remove body shame by showing you that your entire body is actually good, because the entire body has capacity for pleasure. Upgrading your orgasms is about incorporating your total body, and allowing diverse kinds of touch and exploration.
Regardless of your gender, the anal area is an important site of pleasure for all bodies. We are born with full body capacities for pleasure, but we are trained to forget this and have a lot of pleasure amnesia to unlearn. This amnesia prevents us from achieving the highest levels of orgasm possible. This can happen because of internalized shame, as well as external factors like gender socialization, homophobia, and the sex- and body-negative family values we’re raised with. More pleasure in sex occurs only when we embrace our entire body as sexual, and legitimize the same in others bodies as well.
Epic orgasms for prostate owners requires exploration to awaken frozen and avoided parts of the anal and prostate area. The more exploration you do the more you can learn about all the varieties of pleasure that are available to you. I always recommend first touching the anal area yourself to psychologically begin to associate comfort with this often forgotten pleasure area. Take time to touch, look at, and play with your anus. The use of pleasure toys, like the We-Vibe Vector and the Ditto, are safe and comfortable ways to ease into this new territory. When you masturbate, try practicing anal pleasure while also engaging your penis. This will also train you to be sexual in a similarly full-bodied way with your partners. This is the way to hotter sex and orgasms!
Confidence and comfort with prostate and anal on your own are important for many before allowing that with a partner. Your brain is an important part of what sends the signals for arousal, and when the mind is anxious or not relaxed your body will shut down arousal. A tense, anxious mind leads to tense, anxious body and not an epic orgasm and pleasure response. Once ready for partner play, use of toys like the We-Vibe Verge are ways that other levels of sensation can be added in addition to any prostate or anal stimulation. A cock ring that also includes a stimulation to the perineum is an orgasm supercharge.
Preparation for anal and prostate play is about more than cleanliness; it’s also about relaxing and being comfortable.
Follow these steps for epic orgasms with anal play and for the best sex of your life:
- Start talking about anal play confidently and openly. Make it less taboo by discussing it with partners and friends. Lots of people are curious about anal play, and may have tried it. Ask what it was like for them.
- Relax. Be as aroused and comfortable as possible before you start any sort of anal play (alone or with a partner). This makes it more pleasurable and hot.
- Touch your anal area, look at it, and play with it. Do this very often! It’s an area that you want familiarity with. Get used to the experience of your butt being associated with pleasure.
- Masturbate while stimulating your prostate and anus. This is a great way to start associating it with orgasm.
- Use lots of lube. The anus and rectum are able to handle the insertion of a finger, toy, or penis safety, but using lube — and slow initial movements — is still needed, because anal tissue is more delicate than vaginal or mouth tissue.
- Use toys. Experiment with butt plugs, prostate and perineum stimulators like the We-Vibe Vector, Ditto, and Verge. These are all high-quality pleasure products I recommend.
- Communicate. Enjoyable anal area and prostate play requires sharing what feels good or less-than-good; asking your partner if it’s arousing while you’re pleasing them; and continually add lube.
>> Ever heard of “Prostate Milking”? Find out more.