Juliet Allen _11By Juliet Allen

These days it’s easy to get caught up in the daily-grind called ‘life’ and before we know it, self-love and pleasure seem to be placed on the back burner. Before long we begin to feel frustrated and annoyed (often blaming our lovers) for the lack of pleasure and satisfaction we feel in our everyday life. With this in mind, here are 3 tips for better self-loving:

  1. Relax. Stop what you are doing and put aside time to look after yourself. This means putting away your phone and laptop, closing the front door and shutting off. Self-pleasure can’t happen if you are running at 100 miles an hour. Self-pleasure is about being intimate with yourself and putting yourself first. When the time has been set aside, get naked and enjoy exploring your body. This may mean you jump in a hot bath, or hide under the covers in bed. Do what’s right for you, and do it often.
  2. Enjoy giving yourself an erotic massage. I encourage the use of organic coconut oil when massaging your body and your genitals. Begin slowly, letting go of the idea of reaching orgasm. Instead enjoy letting go and relax into the feeling of relaxing and touching your body. Explore what feels good and let go. You may reach orgasm, you may not – do what feels right for you and simply take time to appreciate self-love.
  3. Let go of any feelings of guilt and shame. Easier said than done, right? Everyone has their own ‘stuff’ to deal with when it comes to self-pleasure and sex. Childhood experiences, religious beliefs, parental attitudes, and past relationships often have a big influence on any guilt and shame that we feel. It’s important to know that exploring your own body is a normal, natural and beautiful part of life. If you do feel like shame and guilt are getting in the way of your ability to self-pleasure perhaps sexuality coaching or therapy is the next step. Or perhaps just reading this article will help you move forward freely and give you the permission to pleasure yourself.

Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sexuality Coach + Educator and Writer.  With a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner, Juliet runs educative workshops and events in Australia for young people and adults. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality



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One Response to Self Pleasure, Forever

  1. Learning how to masturbate is like learning any other skill – it takes practice. When you first start experimenting with masturbation, try not to put any pressure on yourself to orgasm. A lot of women get overly goal-oriented about climaxing, which can suck all of the fun out of masturbating.

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