By Megan Andelloux
Frank, accessible conversations about sex and pleasure
How much did you know about sex when you were 19 years-old? About pleasure, health, sexuality, masturbation, and consent? And how happy or relieved would you be if you had a positive, safe, and shame-free space to tackle all of your questions about sex with a knowledgeable adult who you could trust?
For many college-aged students, sex is still a relatively (or completely) new adventure. It’s a period of time where you are developing your sexual morals and identity. Until this point, much of the information students have about sexuality has come from media, middle and high school health classes, and their parents. Often, this information is limited, fear-based, and focused more on the mechanics of sex over the emotions associated with it. The conversation is mostly about how to avoid getting a disease or getting pregnant – fun and pleasure are rarely part of the equation.
So when I walk into a crowded college auditorium for two hours, ready to field questions, it’s no surprise that students want to hear about orgasms, anal, masturbation, vulvas and banishing societal sexual norms. More than just sex tips and tricks, they are looking for unbiased information, how to handle their vulnerability, and for reassurance that their weird insecurity is not so weird after all.
“How can I give a blowjob without gagging?”
“Is frequent masturbation wrong?”
“If you have anal sex with someone you know is not infected, can you still get a disease from them, even if you are a virgin?”
“Why do I have orgasms at the gym sometimes?”
“When you have anal sex, does it smell like poop?”
“How do I squirt?”
“I want to give a rim job, but do girls like that?
“My boyfriend is into BDSM. How do I get good at being a domme?”
“Is it bad that I’ve come this far in my life and never had anything close to a sexual encounter?”
During each session, I hand out neon index cards for anonymous questions, and at the end, answer them all. What this achieves (besides specifically addressing the questions students have vs. the topics we think they need to know about), is a shame-free, pleasure-acknowledging environment for accurate information- sharing about sexuality – one that supports these experimental, nervous, and knowledge-thirsty individuals to develop into what many of us are not – sexually healthy adults.
Megan Andelloux, the Founder and Executive Director of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health is a Clinical Sexologist and certified Sexuality Educator, accredited through The American College of Sexologists and The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Her innovative education programs, writing, social media presence, and ambitious speaking schedule has helped make her one of America’s most recognized and sought-after experts in the growing field of sexual pleasure, health, and politics.